Conjugation of "dog"

This doesn't obey any English grammar rules but I don't really care.

"Dog" conjugates into:

Yesterday I dug.
Today I dig.
Tomorrow I will darn sure dig again!

We also have the dog version of tense (sort of)...

I dig a hole.
I dig a really big hole.
I dig a trench.

If I could get that "trench digging" thing trained or under control, I might have a "working dog" here. His trenches are quite straight.

I think the physical limitations of the mechanical elements of the basic machine will limit the trench to about a foot deep. Not exactly a "ditch witch". On the other hand he works for dog chow and praise.

I have been known to work for chocolate chip and walnut cookies. My recipe is basically the one on the Tollhouse chocolate chip bag. Semi-sweet! My only variation is to ignore the amounts for chips and nuts and just cram as much in as the dough will hold and not fall apart.

ah yes... dug, dig and all that...

I have a dog.

I have LOTS of holes now in my back yard.

On the plus side you can REALLY piss off a dog by filling in his holes. Danny gets really irate! I found you need to take your entertainment in this "dig" thing where you can.

There may be some sort of "union thing" involved here. Danny saw me digging holes with a shovel in the "other" (non-dog) part of the yard and he really barked and seemed irritated. I may have been breaking some union regulation. Digging without union supervision or something.

On the down side of this wealth of freshly dug holes, I found you can't plant anything in them. My wife found out that if Danny was allowed near her garden he thought it a fine place to dig. It also had "stuff" to dig up and "discover". I think they are called "bulbs" of the "oh no!" variety. I'm really not sure about the "variety", as there were several words from her that I could not make out clearly.

I read up on this dog raising thing and some books suggest you create a "digging pile" of sand for the dog and then let him watch you bury a toy or two and encourage him to dig them out. This guy must be the Dr. Spock of dog raising. We all know how that Spock thing worked out... California!

I had another otherwise bright human that makes her living training dogs tell me to use a squirt bottle with water to just squirt at the dog to stop him barking. HAH!
Let's just say that Danny LIKES to get squirted in the head with a garden hose so I doubt some little squirt bottle will have much impact.

I am tempted to dump a big pile of sand in the back yard (the dog part). I have lots of "spare sand" from when my property was cleared and leveled. I might as well let Danny have some fun with sand. Sand is his favorite thing. It's that old "sand demon" thing. He really likes digging and playing in it. I am attempting distraction but... who knows.

I get to rent a small tractor with a front loader and play in the sand for a few hours. Nothing says I have to let the dog have all the fun!

Conclusion... dogs don't "conjugate" but they sure can dig and they really don't like you filling in their holes!

I have a dog.

I also have lots of new holes in the "dog" part of the back yard. They are more or less permanent. Did I mention that any hole that is filled in, gets re-dug (past, plu-perfect? ) very quickly.

Re-dugeth? Re-dugged?

Regards,
WebMouse