I have a dog.
I am a dirty human. (no worse than you, so sit back down and calm down!)
That seems, at least, to be the opinion of my dog. He really gets into licking me "clean". I don't necessarily feel or appear cleaner but then again... he does very well on upholstery!
He is well fed so it is not residual "food" particles on my hands. Certainly not on my ears... at least I hope not! Spaghetti is sort of an "iffy" food. It can get most anywhere.
Danny is a Golden Retriever and is not one of those drooling, slobbering dogs that leaves a trail like a snail around the house. oh... we do NOT keep pet snails, that was an example only!
Mostly he licks my hands and wrists. They would be the parts most likely to need cleaning. I do wash my hands but I notice the licking is much more intense after I have been cooking or handling food. Residuals, I guess. Sort of like the music industry. The RIAA is one greedy, crumb sucking dog!... Not that I have an opinion, one way or the other.
Back to the licking issue. I do find it strange that a dog, given it's own sanitary habits, has the nerve to imply that a human needs cleaning.
We shouldn't go into the thought process in the human either. The term is cognitive dissonance. That's where you know something to be true but behave as though it were not. Smoking is one example, and a potentially lethal one.
Getting licked by a dog tongue is not lethal but... well... we really do not want to get into that discussion. Those of us with "dognative dissonance" do not like to have that particular issue brought up.
I am human. (honest!)
On Sundays I go to church.
The rest of the week.... well...
I have a dog.
It all works out.
Regards,
WebMouse
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Of Dogs and Frogs
Folk wisdom has it that you can "hypnotize" a frog by turning it on it's back an stroking it's tummy.
I never actually verified that bit of wisdom.
I have a dog.
I don't have a frog.
I will verify that if you can get the dog to lay on his back and you gently stroke his tummy he apparently gets hypnotized. At least, he sure won't move while you are rubbing his tummy. He seems to pass into more of a "stupor" than actually be "hypnotized". He seems to remain conscious to some degree. Not really a dignified state though. He mouth is hanging open and his tongue hanging out. The eyes are somewhat rolled back in his head.
I really don't know what you call the "state of consciousness" that Danny attains. Might be "Zen".
I would ask my wife to try it on me, but you look pretty stupid with your tongue hanging out so I think I will pass on this. My own "Zen" state much resembles a "nap" and I learned the skill from my cats. Cats are very "Zen". Dogs are more "Frog".
They don't hop (usually) and I've never heard a "ribbit" out of Danny but the tummy thing seems to work.
Regards,
WebMouse
I never actually verified that bit of wisdom.
I have a dog.
I don't have a frog.
I will verify that if you can get the dog to lay on his back and you gently stroke his tummy he apparently gets hypnotized. At least, he sure won't move while you are rubbing his tummy. He seems to pass into more of a "stupor" than actually be "hypnotized". He seems to remain conscious to some degree. Not really a dignified state though. He mouth is hanging open and his tongue hanging out. The eyes are somewhat rolled back in his head.
I really don't know what you call the "state of consciousness" that Danny attains. Might be "Zen".
I would ask my wife to try it on me, but you look pretty stupid with your tongue hanging out so I think I will pass on this. My own "Zen" state much resembles a "nap" and I learned the skill from my cats. Cats are very "Zen". Dogs are more "Frog".
They don't hop (usually) and I've never heard a "ribbit" out of Danny but the tummy thing seems to work.
Regards,
WebMouse
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Ouch!!! Dammit!
I have a dog.
We play.
He has LOTS of BIG teeth.
OUCH!!! followed closely by Dammit!!!
I know he is playing and either misses what he is aiming at or just gets carried away... I'm pretty sure anyway. I mean... he could be sneaking in a little nip here and there just to pay me back for his "Cujo Timeout" or for some other offense. I hear Wolves are that way. They hold grudges. I knew a keeper at a wolf sanctuary and said if one of them got pissed off they might 'lay back' a couple days and sort of mull it over and then bite you a couple days later when you didn't expect it. hmmmm.......
Danny has his moments. We call them "Cujo Time" when he gets aggressive. We put him in his kennel and throw a sheet over him and let him stew until he calms down.
Did you ever know that a dog can "cuss". Now... I don't speak dog but I'm SURE what he is saying is not nice. He doesn't growl... it's more a mumble and some almost subvocal sounds that I would call grumbling except that I am pretty sure they are some very nasty words in "dog".
After his "time out", he is once again a sweet and loving dog and wouldn't even think of complaining (until next time) and is happy with the attention he gets and would never bite. I mean...my wife can reach part way down his throat to retrieve a cat toy (he likes to "borrow" the cat's toys).
I'm a little worried about my wife. She's not really tall or strong so her hands end up in the "play zone".
You also have to be able to sort of 'anticipate' where his mouth is going to be going next. He is focusing on the target toy so fingers or hands in the way are just that... in the way. Your problem.
"Cujo Time" is when he is aiming for the hand and there is no toy there. The hand has become the toy. You REALLY don't want that, he won't break the skin but it can cause the exclamation "Ouch!!! Dammit!!, hence the article title.
That often causes him to roll on his back and present his belly in submission and apology. That and/or "dribble" on the carpet. There is no doubt he knows that was a no-no but... he was just playing... got confused... what's a guy to do?
I have learned, actually repeatedly (hmmmm...) that it takes restraint to love him up and let him know he is OK while you are checking to see if there is blood flowing!
I also realized that I am getting older and older skin is thinner. Another nasty lesson!
I'd ask "will it never end?" but I'm not that stupid. That one I know the answer to. That would definitely be a "Duh!"
I have a dog.
We interact.
"Love Hurts" is a 60's song played by most everyone at one time or another.
I like those 60's songs. I can sing with them (in the shower), understand the words, am not embarrassed to say the words, and my wife won't smack me upside the head if I sing them... she will probably put on headphones and listen to real music but then... I would too if I had to hear me. You never sound as bad to yourself as you do to other people. There's a special filter in your brain that lies to you about what you sound like. As long as you know it's there, you're ok. Forget it, and like as not you will do something stupid and NO ONE will ever let you forget it.
Unfortunately, people that like 60's music often have physically thin skin. We're old, it goes with the territory!
WebMouse
We play.
He has LOTS of BIG teeth.
OUCH!!! followed closely by Dammit!!!
I know he is playing and either misses what he is aiming at or just gets carried away... I'm pretty sure anyway. I mean... he could be sneaking in a little nip here and there just to pay me back for his "Cujo Timeout" or for some other offense. I hear Wolves are that way. They hold grudges. I knew a keeper at a wolf sanctuary and said if one of them got pissed off they might 'lay back' a couple days and sort of mull it over and then bite you a couple days later when you didn't expect it. hmmmm.......
Danny has his moments. We call them "Cujo Time" when he gets aggressive. We put him in his kennel and throw a sheet over him and let him stew until he calms down.
Did you ever know that a dog can "cuss". Now... I don't speak dog but I'm SURE what he is saying is not nice. He doesn't growl... it's more a mumble and some almost subvocal sounds that I would call grumbling except that I am pretty sure they are some very nasty words in "dog".
After his "time out", he is once again a sweet and loving dog and wouldn't even think of complaining (until next time) and is happy with the attention he gets and would never bite. I mean...my wife can reach part way down his throat to retrieve a cat toy (he likes to "borrow" the cat's toys).
I'm a little worried about my wife. She's not really tall or strong so her hands end up in the "play zone".
You also have to be able to sort of 'anticipate' where his mouth is going to be going next. He is focusing on the target toy so fingers or hands in the way are just that... in the way. Your problem.
"Cujo Time" is when he is aiming for the hand and there is no toy there. The hand has become the toy. You REALLY don't want that, he won't break the skin but it can cause the exclamation "Ouch!!! Dammit!!, hence the article title.
That often causes him to roll on his back and present his belly in submission and apology. That and/or "dribble" on the carpet. There is no doubt he knows that was a no-no but... he was just playing... got confused... what's a guy to do?
I have learned, actually repeatedly (hmmmm...) that it takes restraint to love him up and let him know he is OK while you are checking to see if there is blood flowing!
I also realized that I am getting older and older skin is thinner. Another nasty lesson!
I'd ask "will it never end?" but I'm not that stupid. That one I know the answer to. That would definitely be a "Duh!"
I have a dog.
We interact.
"Love Hurts" is a 60's song played by most everyone at one time or another.
I like those 60's songs. I can sing with them (in the shower), understand the words, am not embarrassed to say the words, and my wife won't smack me upside the head if I sing them... she will probably put on headphones and listen to real music but then... I would too if I had to hear me. You never sound as bad to yourself as you do to other people. There's a special filter in your brain that lies to you about what you sound like. As long as you know it's there, you're ok. Forget it, and like as not you will do something stupid and NO ONE will ever let you forget it
Unfortunately, people that like 60's music often have physically thin skin. We're old, it goes with the territory!
WebMouse
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Out, out, damned spot!
I have a dog.
His name is NOT "spot", but it does sort of apply.
Have you ever had a Golden Retriever lick you? For some reason, and I don't know if it is unique to the breed, when they are done licking you are not all slobbered up and yucky! It's clean and fairly dry.
Now... we won't go into all the things that a dog will lick.... definitely!
Danny (my dog) licks lots of things. He will lick up cat food barf off the carpet and he does as good a job as my "spot cleaner". Pretty nifty.
Surprisingly, he is also good on upholstery! He will sit in my lap (that in itself is another story as he is a BIG dog) on my favorite chair. It's a big Lazy Boy recliner. The fabric on the ends of the arms gets sweat and yuck from my hands. I tried my nifty electric "green machine" to clean them with upholstery cleaner and it worked fairly well.
Then... one time Danny started licking the chair arm... I have no idea what the flavor was, but the chair arm ended up clean and only very slightly damp. Less damp even than when I used the upholstery cleaner!
This is about the strangest and most unexpected thing about my dog so far. I am sure there are more surprises in store. As surprises go, this was fairly benign. Slightly gross, but... works for me and and dog and the cats don't seem to care so...
WebMouse
His name is NOT "spot", but it does sort of apply.
Have you ever had a Golden Retriever lick you? For some reason, and I don't know if it is unique to the breed, when they are done licking you are not all slobbered up and yucky! It's clean and fairly dry.
Now... we won't go into all the things that a dog will lick.... definitely!
Danny (my dog) licks lots of things. He will lick up cat food barf off the carpet and he does as good a job as my "spot cleaner". Pretty nifty.
Surprisingly, he is also good on upholstery! He will sit in my lap (that in itself is another story as he is a BIG dog) on my favorite chair. It's a big Lazy Boy recliner. The fabric on the ends of the arms gets sweat and yuck from my hands. I tried my nifty electric "green machine" to clean them with upholstery cleaner and it worked fairly well.
Then... one time Danny started licking the chair arm... I have no idea what the flavor was, but the chair arm ended up clean and only very slightly damp. Less damp even than when I used the upholstery cleaner!
This is about the strangest and most unexpected thing about my dog so far. I am sure there are more surprises in store. As surprises go, this was fairly benign. Slightly gross, but... works for me and and dog and the cats don't seem to care so...
WebMouse
Monday, May 12, 2008
I don't have a pickup truck!
I have a dog.
I also have a full compliment of guns.
I wear plaid wool shirts and jeans.
I'm a dang good shot. I hit what I aim at and I eat what I shoot... 'cept for trespassers. They're too hard to clean, you just bury them and move on. Damn waste of ammo.
The only thing that keeps me from being considered a red neck is the lack of a pickup truck. Nor do I want a pickup truck. Very much.
I do have an SUV, but it's a Buick and not a Ford or Chevy. They could be considered pickup truck 'like'.
It all started with the dog.
My wife won't let me even look at pickup trucks now. Of course, needing her to 'let' me look at a truck makes me a wuss and totally disqualifies me from "redneck-dom".
This is actually quite OK with me. I assume my dog is OK with it too, he hasn't complained... Too much...
My wife loves me.
I have a dog.
Wool shirts are warm.
Life is good.
Regards,
WebMouse
I also have a full compliment of guns.
I wear plaid wool shirts and jeans.
I'm a dang good shot. I hit what I aim at and I eat what I shoot... 'cept for trespassers. They're too hard to clean, you just bury them and move on. Damn waste of ammo.
The only thing that keeps me from being considered a red neck is the lack of a pickup truck. Nor do I want a pickup truck. Very much.
I do have an SUV, but it's a Buick and not a Ford or Chevy. They could be considered pickup truck 'like'.
It all started with the dog.
My wife won't let me even look at pickup trucks now. Of course, needing her to 'let' me look at a truck makes me a wuss and totally disqualifies me from "redneck-dom".
This is actually quite OK with me. I assume my dog is OK with it too, he hasn't complained... Too much...
My wife loves me.
I have a dog.
Wool shirts are warm.
Life is good.
Regards,
WebMouse
Friday, May 9, 2008
A 55 lb. Letter Opener
I have a 55 lb. letter opener with delivery capabilities. No, it is not for really large packages, however it is a "self powered" letter opener! It runs on dog treats.
Specifically, it is willing to open a letter and then deliver it to you in return for a dog treat. "Return" being a nice way of saying "spit it out". The "deliver" capability (willingness) depends on said dog treat being visible.
It doesn't do requests. Selection of which mail gets opened is pretty much random or a matter of access. Very fast access! Very, very fast.
I have a dog.
I get letters (mostly junk mail actually).
My dog weighs about 55 lbs. (at the moment - if you are a slow reader, adjust the figure upward)
He is VERY fast when it comes to snagging one piece of mail out of a stack.
He WILL trade a partially masticated.... er...."opened" letter, for a dog treat.
Like I said, a 55 lb letter opener. Puppy power!
I think it may be the glue, I'm pretty sure he can't read and judging from what he picks to "open", he has no specific "taste" or agenda in selecting the mail. Opportunity is all!
I think he has lost all the puppy teeth and the adult teeth are coming in... and in... and in... That is a real mouth full of teeth he is growing. They could be a little scary if he wasn't such a pussy cat. Still, that is one heck of a letter opening facility there!
I've seen a special paper "stapler" that just punches out paper tabs and folds them back on themselves. A "staple-less" paper stapler. Pretty clever. I wonder... (once his canines grow in) if he can be taught to.... nah... I don't need a paper stapler anyway.
Now maybe a paper shredder and disposal... there is something to be said for that idea. Nothing fit to describe in detail here, but it does work! The less said about that process, end to end (not to put too fine a point on it), the better.
Regards,
WebMouse
Specifically, it is willing to open a letter and then deliver it to you in return for a dog treat. "Return" being a nice way of saying "spit it out". The "deliver" capability (willingness) depends on said dog treat being visible.
It doesn't do requests. Selection of which mail gets opened is pretty much random or a matter of access. Very fast access! Very, very fast.
I have a dog.
I get letters (mostly junk mail actually).
My dog weighs about 55 lbs. (at the moment - if you are a slow reader, adjust the figure upward)
He is VERY fast when it comes to snagging one piece of mail out of a stack.
He WILL trade a partially masticated.... er...."opened" letter, for a dog treat.
Like I said, a 55 lb letter opener. Puppy power!
I think it may be the glue, I'm pretty sure he can't read and judging from what he picks to "open", he has no specific "taste" or agenda in selecting the mail. Opportunity is all!
I think he has lost all the puppy teeth and the adult teeth are coming in... and in... and in... That is a real mouth full of teeth he is growing. They could be a little scary if he wasn't such a pussy cat. Still, that is one heck of a letter opening facility there!
I've seen a special paper "stapler" that just punches out paper tabs and folds them back on themselves. A "staple-less" paper stapler. Pretty clever. I wonder... (once his canines grow in) if he can be taught to.... nah... I don't need a paper stapler anyway.
Now maybe a paper shredder and disposal... there is something to be said for that idea. Nothing fit to describe in detail here, but it does work! The less said about that process, end to end (not to put too fine a point on it), the better.
Regards,
WebMouse
Thursday, May 8, 2008
A Guy Thing
I'm a guy.
I do "guy things".
One of those "guy things" is the response to a "rail". A guy sees a rail, he has to lean on it and "ponder".
I was on the back porch of our house, leaning on the rail, looking off into the distance across the bay and "pondering".
Someone came up to the rail and leaned on it next to me.
I have a dog.
It was the dog. He is pretty big and getting bigger but there he was, standing at the rail with his front paws on it and looking out into the distance. He looked like he was "pondering". I just let him be. That's a guy thing too.
I do have some worries about him though. He likes to grab envelopes and run off with them. He grabbed my voting ballot and ran off. I got it back as quick as I could... I had to!... I think he's a Republican!
Or maybe one of those damn Libertarians... I mean... he just pee's and poop's where ever he feels like so... what else would be be other than Republican or Libertarian?
He never goes after my wallet when he sniffs my.... ah... well anyway... I don't think he's a Democrat either.
I'm pretty sure he's an Independent.
Fortunately, he's not registered to vote. At least, I don't think so.
I have a dog. He's getting pretty big.
Regards,
WebMouse
I do "guy things".
One of those "guy things" is the response to a "rail". A guy sees a rail, he has to lean on it and "ponder".
I was on the back porch of our house, leaning on the rail, looking off into the distance across the bay and "pondering".
Someone came up to the rail and leaned on it next to me.
I have a dog.
It was the dog. He is pretty big and getting bigger but there he was, standing at the rail with his front paws on it and looking out into the distance. He looked like he was "pondering". I just let him be. That's a guy thing too.
I do have some worries about him though. He likes to grab envelopes and run off with them. He grabbed my voting ballot and ran off. I got it back as quick as I could... I had to!... I think he's a Republican!
Or maybe one of those damn Libertarians... I mean... he just pee's and poop's where ever he feels like so... what else would be be other than Republican or Libertarian?
He never goes after my wallet when he sniffs my.... ah... well anyway... I don't think he's a Democrat either.
I'm pretty sure he's an Independent.
Fortunately, he's not registered to vote. At least, I don't think so.
I have a dog. He's getting pretty big.
Regards,
WebMouse
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Doggie Treats
What's in a name? You sure don't want to read the list of ingredients on most doggie treats. Some are better than others.
Personally, good old MilkBone dog biscuits are pretty good. My dog agrees.
I have a dog.
I give my dog "treats". We both think the MilkBone treats are ok but some of the others taste like dry particle board. I assume. Something on the flavor quality of Banana flavored Popsicles... or banana flavored anything other than bananas. IMHO of course. I am sure there are things that are even worse. Then, chocolate and peanut butter is an obscenity in my mind. I like both of them, they just don't belong together. I don't know what is in that peanut butter cup but it sure isn't peanut butter! I'd rather eat a Twinkie! Ding Dong's now are... ah yes, dog treats....
Other doggie treats are so artificial in flavoring that I am surprised he will eat them... but then... we know where dogs lick. A true dog lover is someone who knows the answer to that and enjoys a good lick on the ear from his dog... and one who does not immediately run for the wash basin or the shower.
I picked up a habit from my maternal grandfather of eating an apple by paring off thin slices and eating the slices as I cut them off the apple. Danny gets the core pieces and, truth be told, an occasional slice.
If I am eating a carrot, he gets a chunk.
If I am eating a slice of bread with peanut butter on it I have been known to wipe a little finger full on the roof of his mouth. That is both treat and humor. He gets back at me by taking a bite out of my slice of bread and peanut butter... which slice automatically then becomes his. (I love dogs... but there is a limit!) He, wisely, prefers to lick the peanut butter from the bread.
I have a dog.
He gets treats and has turned the process into a con game.
I have a dog. I didn't say I was smart. It may be safe to say that I am a 'soft touch'. Don't let it get around. I have a reputation and Danny does not want the competition.
Regards,
WebMouse
Personally, good old MilkBone dog biscuits are pretty good. My dog agrees.
I have a dog.
I give my dog "treats". We both think the MilkBone treats are ok but some of the others taste like dry particle board. I assume. Something on the flavor quality of Banana flavored Popsicles... or banana flavored anything other than bananas. IMHO of course. I am sure there are things that are even worse. Then, chocolate and peanut butter is an obscenity in my mind. I like both of them, they just don't belong together. I don't know what is in that peanut butter cup but it sure isn't peanut butter! I'd rather eat a Twinkie! Ding Dong's now are... ah yes, dog treats....
Other doggie treats are so artificial in flavoring that I am surprised he will eat them... but then... we know where dogs lick. A true dog lover is someone who knows the answer to that and enjoys a good lick on the ear from his dog... and one who does not immediately run for the wash basin or the shower.
I picked up a habit from my maternal grandfather of eating an apple by paring off thin slices and eating the slices as I cut them off the apple. Danny gets the core pieces and, truth be told, an occasional slice.
If I am eating a carrot, he gets a chunk.
If I am eating a slice of bread with peanut butter on it I have been known to wipe a little finger full on the roof of his mouth. That is both treat and humor. He gets back at me by taking a bite out of my slice of bread and peanut butter... which slice automatically then becomes his. (I love dogs... but there is a limit!) He, wisely, prefers to lick the peanut butter from the bread.
I have a dog.
He gets treats and has turned the process into a con game.
I have a dog. I didn't say I was smart. It may be safe to say that I am a 'soft touch'. Don't let it get around. I have a reputation and Danny does not want the competition.
Regards,
WebMouse
Monday, May 5, 2008
Danger - Construction Zone!
Imagine a can of paint.
Imagine setting a brush across the top of that can for just a second.
Imagine that brush then flying around the yard.
I have a dog.
The can of paint was not open yet and there was no paint on the brush... but the brush handle was "textured" before I managed to get it back.
Lesson: In an area where you plan on doing almost any sort of work (other than poop scooping), it is imperative that there NOT be a dog there.
This is especially true if you plan on digging anything as this gets you into a union confrontation with the Dog Diggers of America and you really don't want to go there.
I will leave it to your imagination about trying to paint anything with a dog around.
In case you wondered, putting new dirt or sand in an area and then planning (I repeat..'planning') to rake it smooth... again... NO DOG!
Construction involving ANY took small enough to get swiped by a large dog is also not advised.
When the place you are working in is, in fact, the "dog run" then work must progress quickly that you may return the area to the original owner as fast as possible.
There are a few simple rules:
I like to build things.
I don't mix the two and I am much happier for it.
Regards,
WebMouse
Imagine setting a brush across the top of that can for just a second.
Imagine that brush then flying around the yard.
I have a dog.
The can of paint was not open yet and there was no paint on the brush... but the brush handle was "textured" before I managed to get it back.
Lesson: In an area where you plan on doing almost any sort of work (other than poop scooping), it is imperative that there NOT be a dog there.
This is especially true if you plan on digging anything as this gets you into a union confrontation with the Dog Diggers of America and you really don't want to go there.
I will leave it to your imagination about trying to paint anything with a dog around.
In case you wondered, putting new dirt or sand in an area and then planning (I repeat..'planning') to rake it smooth... again... NO DOG!
Construction involving ANY took small enough to get swiped by a large dog is also not advised.
When the place you are working in is, in fact, the "dog run" then work must progress quickly that you may return the area to the original owner as fast as possible.
There are a few simple rules:
- No dog present while working... NEVER!!!
- If you want it to stay in place.... nail it down
- If you do not want holes in it.... concrete it over.
- If you want to paint it... use quick drying paint.
- When kneeling down to work on something... look first.
- If you are building something... do not make it fragile.
- Above all else... maintain a sense of humor!
- Don't even think of planting anything... if grass grows... consider it a miracle and enjoy it.
- Live by the prayer that ends with "... and the wisdom to know the difference." You life will be much more pleasant! Trust me on this one.
- When done, scour the area (several times) for tools and bits and pieces you have left around. Your dog WILL find them and eat them!
- When you finally are done and let the dog back into the dog run... go take the tool away from the dog that you forgot about. There WILL be one and he WILL have it. Please refer to the dog game of "keep-away" in this matter.
I like to build things.
I don't mix the two and I am much happier for it.
Regards,
WebMouse
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Lap Dog
It's all in the definition. Well... and who is defining it!
I have a dog.
My version is that if he doesn't fit on my lap, he is not a lap dog. My lap is not small. (no snickers please!)
His (Danny) version seems to be "any part of me on any part of you makes me a lap dog".
It's the "any part" that we disagree on. I can sort of see his argument when he sits next to me and lays his head on my lap and looks at me with those big soulful brown eyes. I give!
If I put up the leg support on my Lazyboy (AKA Dog Chair) he figures that means I have expanded my "lap" and it's fair game. I admit (grudgingly) to liking him on my lap. He is a beautiful dog and there is just something about a dog in your lap that makes the world a little nicer place.
We have a swing set outside (couch on A frame essentially) and he has different rules there. That is pretty much an "anything I can get away with" location. It starts when he jumps up on the swing/glider and sits next to me. Then he gets all "chummy" and starts moving into my territory. Next thing I know, he has defined "lap" as any part or parts of my body that he can get himself on. Chest, shoulders, head, back.....
In case you ever consider it, do NOT try to lay down in one of those swings and take a nap. Your whole body then becomes a lap and he "jumps for it"... literally. Surprise! is an understatement. Warm sun, eyes closed, relaxed, gentle swinging motion... 50 lbs of dog lands... ah.... on you. Lands... not steps gently onto you, LANDS on you from a jump from who knows how far away. It felt like he started his run from the other end of the yard and went for an Olympic gold medal, in the running broad jump.
I have a dog.
We play 'fetch' also. There too he has his own rules. These rules allow throwing a 'body block' on the 'thrower' by the 'throwee' on the return of the 'thrown'.
Right now at 50 lbs or so, that is one thing. When he gets full grown, that will be something else entirely. We're talking X-Sport level action. I may have to wear protective gear.
He may figure he gets points for "taking out" the 'thrower'.
Personally, I penalize him points every time he drops the 'thrown' on the way back to the 'thrower'. A three point penalty on the return journey is not uncommon. It's the excitement. He also loses a point for overshooting the target object. I'm not sure dog's can count so this may be a futile exercise. The Canine numbering system seems to consist of "one" and "another". Actually, for his purpose, that probably works pretty well. It sure eliminates all that nasty math stuff!
I have a dog.
It's not just a job, it's an adventure! (or was that a Navy ad?)
Regards,
WebMouse
I have a dog.
My version is that if he doesn't fit on my lap, he is not a lap dog. My lap is not small. (no snickers please!)
His (Danny) version seems to be "any part of me on any part of you makes me a lap dog".
It's the "any part" that we disagree on. I can sort of see his argument when he sits next to me and lays his head on my lap and looks at me with those big soulful brown eyes. I give!
If I put up the leg support on my Lazyboy (AKA Dog Chair) he figures that means I have expanded my "lap" and it's fair game. I admit (grudgingly) to liking him on my lap. He is a beautiful dog and there is just something about a dog in your lap that makes the world a little nicer place.
We have a swing set outside (couch on A frame essentially) and he has different rules there. That is pretty much an "anything I can get away with" location. It starts when he jumps up on the swing/glider and sits next to me. Then he gets all "chummy" and starts moving into my territory. Next thing I know, he has defined "lap" as any part or parts of my body that he can get himself on. Chest, shoulders, head, back.....
In case you ever consider it, do NOT try to lay down in one of those swings and take a nap. Your whole body then becomes a lap and he "jumps for it"... literally. Surprise! is an understatement. Warm sun, eyes closed, relaxed, gentle swinging motion... 50 lbs of dog lands... ah.... on you. Lands... not steps gently onto you, LANDS on you from a jump from who knows how far away. It felt like he started his run from the other end of the yard and went for an Olympic gold medal, in the running broad jump.
I have a dog.
We play 'fetch' also. There too he has his own rules. These rules allow throwing a 'body block' on the 'thrower' by the 'throwee' on the return of the 'thrown'.
Right now at 50 lbs or so, that is one thing. When he gets full grown, that will be something else entirely. We're talking X-Sport level action. I may have to wear protective gear.
He may figure he gets points for "taking out" the 'thrower'.
Personally, I penalize him points every time he drops the 'thrown' on the way back to the 'thrower'. A three point penalty on the return journey is not uncommon. It's the excitement. He also loses a point for overshooting the target object. I'm not sure dog's can count so this may be a futile exercise. The Canine numbering system seems to consist of "one" and "another". Actually, for his purpose, that probably works pretty well. It sure eliminates all that nasty math stuff!
I have a dog.
It's not just a job, it's an adventure! (or was that a Navy ad?)
Regards,
WebMouse
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