The end of the year...and other things....

I have a dog.

As the vet so kindly put it, he has been "tutored", which is vet speak for neutered.

If you own a Golden Retriever and think that will calm him down, go ahead and keep thinking that. There are other good reasons for doing this, but that isn't really one of them.

We had a lot of fun with the plastic collar he had to wear for ten days, or as close to that as all concerned could bear. I ended up putting the second collar together with industrial staple, lots of them.
Oh yeah, Golden's, being puppies for a L...o...n...g... time, like to chew.

I'd like to meet that moron that just figured you would slip tab 'A' into slot 'B' of the plastic collar and the Golden would happily sit there and observe the process. Fat chance. The question becomes, from the dog's point of view, which part can I reach to chew and how fast can I do it?

End of the year, the end of his.... ah.... "tutoring process" didn't change a damn thing, other than appearance and capability wise.

I hasten to add, lest you get the wrong idea, he is a very sweet and loving dog. We also ended the year with a visit from the dog trainer to help my daughter control the dog. As those things go (if you are a husband you will know), it all turned out to be my fault. I spoil him and give him too much loving. I think she was in the Gestapo at one time. She is a very frightening lady.

I mean, you don't get a dog so you can ignore him and not pet him.... really! If that's what you want, go get a stuffed one on wheels with a pull cord, or a picture and hang it on the wall.

My daughters cry of "he licked me!" still echoes.... HE'S A DOG!!!!, you want to be ignored, get a cat.

My personal favorite of the first few days was, "Doesn't he warn you before he does that!!!!!???????" (he peed) and nope, pretty much it is a past tense sort of event.

He is a year old this December and we are looking forward to another year and possibly more of chewing and puppy behavior. Then he should mellow out a little (somewhat, kinda, more or less, as compared to...)

Seen "Marley and Me" yet? Don't.... if you ever plan to get a dog.

Then again, when he is laying in my lap (ankle to chin) and has his head up looking at me or is sleeping with his head over my arm... that's what it's all about.

Did I mention he has a fondness for chewing up mail?

I have a dog.

His name is Danny. He is a regular dog with a regular name and a huge heart.

Regards,

WebMouse

If only!

If only the president would consult me on national and foreign policy - he would sing my praise and admire my brilliance.

If only my children would do what I advised them to do... how wonderfully simple their worlds would be.

If only my wife had understood "NO DOG!", how simple life would be. Simple but missing something.

If only my dog understood pretty much any one of my commands. How shocked I would be. I take that back, he does understand them... he just doesn't always agree with me on their importance, or at least their immediate importance.

Danny definitely understands my commands, issued forth in a firm and manly voice, not a hint of pleading, thank you! Danny just has differing opinions about the reality of those commands as they conflict with his own desires and reality as he sees it.

If he is on his training collar, heel and sit and such, definately mean what I say they mean and no more perfect dog ever heeled. He will, in fact, heel to either side of me. He clearly understands the concept rather than just some dumb rote behavior.

"Come" is where we get to the sticking point. When he is in the mood he will come at a run and happily sit in from of me for either praise or treat.

When he is not in the mood and feels I am not really serious he will look at me and rush around in an excited manner to show me how important some other thing is that that silly "come" command. When the command escalates, as it has upon occasion, to "get your furry ass over here RIGHT NOW!!!" he tends to suddenly remember who is supposedly in change and with the grace of a crippled turtle will come. Sometimes back end first and circling but he will come. Then he is all apologetic and wants me to know he just didn't really understand that I was serious and if I had just been clearer he would surely have complied with my original command.

He is after all, my dog. I accordingly, am the Alpha Dog and therefore in charge.

Then we get to the case where he is roaming off leash and a little ways away from me. Normally he will come when called. If he is particularly interested in whatever he is smelling or hearing my calls, however worded, never seem to reach his ears. I know he would not willingly ignore me so it must be that my SCREAM does not carry well. hmmmmm.

He will, when he gets closer, or the spirit moves him, come running to me as if to say, "are you OK? I was busy but thought I should check in on you. I love you master!!!!"

This possibly crazy dog trainer I have been using seems to be of the opinion that if your dog loves you more than anything in the world, he will come when ever you call. No matter WHAT.

Yeah.... right......

She has been dealing off the bottom and working with dogs that must not have developed character and personality and an independent mind. I don't care how much you dog starts out loving you, after a while they figure out that they have preferences and desires and they are important too. After you have called said dog for the umpteenth time and he has slavishly run to you and you have praised and pet him and told him how wonderful he is he will begin to connect that getting put in the kennel right after than and abandoned for hours is not what he had in mind.
Not at ALL.

OK.... now how do you jump from a dog that runs to you just because you called and one that has decided that what happens after that is not as much fun as what he was doing. Assuming he remembers what he was doing. There is some doubt on that part.

Danny is a wonderful dog but really high energy and loves to meet new people and play. If you've been gone more than a few hours, you qualify as new people. If he is awake, it is time to play. Pretty simple. Just like toys. If it fits in his mouth, it is a potential toy. If he chews on it, it definitely is his toy. That last is quite clear as a dog chewed and slobbered item is unfit for any other purpose.

He just passed his first birthday and got neutered as a present.

Think about it. "Come Danny" snip.... snip.... 10 days of not much fun and a really pain in the ass plastic collar to prevent him from licking the place that needs licking.

Now go and try "Come Danny".... I think the translated dog thought is "In your dreams!"

We have one to one and a half years of puppy hood left. At best.

Good thing he is born with the ultimate "suck up" gene. He can melt your heart between beats.

A dog sleeping in your lap with his head on your chest in ultimate trust is not a thing to be lightly changed. You as the human, better have a damn good reason for disturbing that dog. He will forgive you. You will find it harder and harder to justify personally.

You are being taught peace and love. Learn the lesson well.

Regards,
Webmouse

"Tutored"

Danny had his first birthday yesterday.

Last week he got "tutored" which is PC for neutered.

He REALLY hated that plastic collar they made him wear to keep him from pulling out his stitches.
He chewed the heck out of the first one in 3 days of the 10 day period he was supposed to wear one. We got a second one and I REALLY fastened all lose edges down with industrial staples. I thought we we secure. Minor nibbling but good good.

Day 8.... Took him out of his kennel in the morning to take him outdoors for the doggies thing but checked his stitches first. They were gone. So much for a collar.

The vet said as long as the incision was staying closed and there was no sign of infection just leave him alone but take off the collar. That was one very happy dog.

Happy owners too. He had got enough used to the collar that he was constantly running into things (us mostly) with the edge. 65lb dog... you do the math!

He sure needs exercise, if he doesn't get it, he gets "wild" and can't figure which end is up and is really a pain in the butt. Take him out for a long walk and he is gold. Golden Retriever, that is. Not one of those blond imitations, a real red-gold, curly haired super friendly dog. With definite opinions on things. As in, when he goes out, when he comes back, and what he does in between. A trainer said I spoiled him. I answered "yeah, and your point is?"

I like to think we are most truly seen how we treat our animals. As you can see above, he suffers greatly. The blue is one knee of my jeans.