Vile Accusation

I have a dog.

My dog had my billfold in his mouth.

I didn't give it to him.

That does NOT make him a pickpocket.

I am (almost) sure that it fell out of my pocket while I was sitting in my chair. Such things do happen.

He's not, after all, like that "Baked Beans commercial" dog that is always trying to sell the secret family recipe for his owners (Bush's Baked Beans) beans. That dog is an opportunist and not trustworthy.

The fact that my billfold is made of leather, which he sort of likes to chew on, and doubtless smells of me, whom he loves dearly, should not enter the picture.

He wasn't, after all, eating the billfold and had not touched the credit cards. He was "closely examining" a couple receipts I had stuffed in the wallet. Doubtlessly looking for errors that he might bring to my attention. He looks out for me.

I recovered most of the receipt he was tasting and it was of no importance. The billfold had no major tooth marks that I could see, and the slight marks it did get just lend it more of an "experienced" look.

He was happy to trade back the wallet for a dog treat, although I'm sure he would have returned it anyway... probably... eventually... I think.

Given the low probability of him being able to slip my wallet out of my pocket with teeth and paws I'm mostly sure he didn't do it and it was all my fault. I mean... It's just not very believable. Pretty much, anyway.

Did I mention he loves me?

I have a dog.

I have a billfold with tooth marks.

Circumstantial, at best.

Regards,
WebMouse