... the ones the rain leaves!!!!! NOT the other kind!
I have a dog.
When he was a smaller puppy he loved water puddles and would "snorkel" them and rear up and splash down with both his front paws together to see (I am imagining...) how big a splash he could make.
During that time of his life he frequently resembled a ball of mud. A big furry ball of mud, to be sure, but a muddy one none the less.
Now he's a BIG puppy (1yr 1mo+). He seems to have developed a degree of decorum. Not a big degree to be sure, but some. He now walks AROUND puddles, disdaining to get his beautiful coat dirty.
Decorum wise... that's pretty much it. He still sleeps belly up and all and sundry exposed to view. Evidently decorum and modesty are different.
I recently took him on a 2 mile walk and he behaved with decorum and manners. The perfect picture of a well behaved dog. When I stopped mid hike for a rest he sat right by my knee and enjoyed the breeze and view with me. We were VERY dignified looking. All I lacked was a pipe to smoke, if I smoked, which I don't. Danny was perfect. A veritable TV commercial for the quintessential Golden Retriever. Head up, breeze lightly ruffling his fur. Magnificent. I could have held the pipe in my mouth and pretended to smoke!
When we got back to our house and I took him into the back yard and released his leash he promptly ran like a mad thing around and around the back yard doing high speed laps, just to let me know (I think) that HE at least still had plenty of energy. I did note that he very quickly came up on the back porch and sat down next to me and panted. That might have just all been for show.
It worked.... he showed me. Next time I will run him around BEFORE I take him on a long hike and see how much he wants to show off after that! We'll see whose butt comes dragging home then! (other than mine)
I'll have to go find a pipe and some bubble soap so that next time I can look cool too.
Regards,
WebMouse
Monday, February 16, 2009
An alternative view
I have a dog...actually my husband does.
I put the adorable little puppy into his arms a year ago...yes, on Valentine's day.
Wasn't that a cute idea?
After he clearly spoke the words "I don't want a dog!" I smiled and said to him, "this one or that one?" one of them is going home with us.
The rest is history, to be written. Perhaps some of it will be from my point of view.
Regards,
TheMouseMissus
I put the adorable little puppy into his arms a year ago...yes, on Valentine's day.
Wasn't that a cute idea?
After he clearly spoke the words "I don't want a dog!" I smiled and said to him, "this one or that one?" one of them is going home with us.
The rest is history, to be written. Perhaps some of it will be from my point of view.
Regards,
TheMouseMissus
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The "Leash".
I have a dog. A big dog.
He is very smart and also well (well, almost well) trained.
He will Heel, Sit, Say, Down, Back, Catch and play games with you.
My only question is, for a dog being so smart, how the hell does he manage to tangle himself in his leash and not be able to get out of it?
I can put peanut butter in a hollow toy and he has it slicked clean in minutes and brings the toy back very politely and seems to be asking "may I have some more please?".
He will also take one single step with a front paw over a leash and not be able to figure out what happened or how to get out of it. The most he seems able to do is make it worse.
He can count and knows how many treats you have in your pocket since he watched you put them there. He still can't step back over the leash. Something is obviously wrong here. The worse part is that he looks at me all offended and seems to think it is my fault. He then waits patiently for me to reach down and lift his paw over the leash. Sort of with a "you broke it, you fix it!" attitude. Patient, but not accepting of ANY responsibility.
I have a dog.
He is loving and smart and can do many things.
He can not, it seems, step back over a leash once he has stepped over it. Maybe it's a property thing. Step over the leash and you own it. I really don't get it but then, I'm not a dog, just the servant of one. All that "pack leader" and "alpha male" crap on TV is just advertising. Look at the credits and you will probably find it was written by a cat. Can't trust cats.
Just try putting a cat on a leash. I strongly suggest a helmet with face guard, thick leather jacket, leather work gloves, and fresh (strong) Levi's.
I love cats. I just know what they think of leash's.
Regards,
WebMouse
He is very smart and also well (well, almost well) trained.
He will Heel, Sit, Say, Down, Back, Catch and play games with you.
My only question is, for a dog being so smart, how the hell does he manage to tangle himself in his leash and not be able to get out of it?
I can put peanut butter in a hollow toy and he has it slicked clean in minutes and brings the toy back very politely and seems to be asking "may I have some more please?".
He will also take one single step with a front paw over a leash and not be able to figure out what happened or how to get out of it. The most he seems able to do is make it worse.
He can count and knows how many treats you have in your pocket since he watched you put them there. He still can't step back over the leash. Something is obviously wrong here. The worse part is that he looks at me all offended and seems to think it is my fault. He then waits patiently for me to reach down and lift his paw over the leash. Sort of with a "you broke it, you fix it!" attitude. Patient, but not accepting of ANY responsibility.
I have a dog.
He is loving and smart and can do many things.
He can not, it seems, step back over a leash once he has stepped over it. Maybe it's a property thing. Step over the leash and you own it. I really don't get it but then, I'm not a dog, just the servant of one. All that "pack leader" and "alpha male" crap on TV is just advertising. Look at the credits and you will probably find it was written by a cat. Can't trust cats.
Just try putting a cat on a leash. I strongly suggest a helmet with face guard, thick leather jacket, leather work gloves, and fresh (strong) Levi's.
I love cats. I just know what they think of leash's.
Regards,
WebMouse
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
P-Troop
I have a dog.
I am a member (the ONLY member) of "P-Troop". Some of you, if you admit to it, may remember a TV show called "F-Troop" which was an military fort on the western frontier populated with misfits, clowns, and sort of a McHales Navy... oops... you probably won't remember that either....
just think seriously weird and sort of semi organized... at best.
P-Troop is the 'poop patrol' of my dog's dog run.
Hut two three four, about face, forward march (carefully!)
I have a dog. Not a "yap-yap" but a real dog. This may sound immaterial to you but as the sole member of P-Troop I assure you that there is a difference.
Pet stores have all sort of cute devices they will sell you for executing this necessary duty and they have nice names and are very often made of pretty color plastic.
Let me assure you that if you have an actual DOG, these are not for you. Not even close!
You really should have realized this might be an issue when you saw the size of the bags of dog food for dogs like the one you own.
I must admit that I was one of those optimistic fools and bought a "Doggy Dooly" in green and a neat "Poopy Scoopy" that was sort of like a double articulated scissor like thing (made of plastic) which was totally useless other than as a chew toy for Danny. The Doggy Dooly was supposed to be a sort of (relatively) small septic system for the "patrol product". Yeah.... like that was going to work. For a yap yap maybe.
I have a DOG.
If you have a DOG you go into the hardware section and get a shovel. Not a "garden spade", but a REAL shovel. As tall as you are! Then buy a garden hoe, again, full size. I recommend the flat blade over the bent style but.... that a style issue.
You then march (carefully!) around the yard and examine the ground for "items". Place the shovel on the ground with the tip next to the material and the other end held under your arm. With the other arm, manipulate the hoe such that the "items" are moved onto the shovel.
When the shovel gets heavy (no, you are not done! the 'patrol' is perpetual!) comes the fun part... If you were wise enough to buy a house out in the forest and looking over a steep hill like mine, you take the shovel with one hand on the very end and one about mid way on the handle. You then make like a catapult and fling that load way down the hill. Nature and rain will take care of the problem.
If you live in the "burbs" with houses on each side... hate to tell you but.... you are screwed.
Remember the size of that bag of dog food? Think about it!
I personally guarantee you that just when you think your tour of duty is over for the day, your dog will grin at you and squat. I have a dog. I know. If you ever doubt your dog has a sense of humor, doubt no longer. Dogs have a particularly nasty sense of humor.
Dogs love unconditionally, but.... they have a really nasty sense of humor. Believe me on this and learn to live with it. The love outweighs the dark side.
Oh yeah, and don't waste money on cutsey devices to make this particular job easier and neater. It isn't and won't be. Get over it!
Hut, two, three, four
Let the dog out the door
Four, three, two, one
He'll come back when he is done
P-Troop is my Duty Call
Rain or shine I give my all
My big dog is my friend for sure
I'm just not happy with all the manure.
Hut, two, three, four.
Let the dog back in the door.
P-Troop stand straight and tall.
You're not done, no not at all!
I have a dog. A BIG DOG.
Regards,
WebMouse
I am a member (the ONLY member) of "P-Troop". Some of you, if you admit to it, may remember a TV show called "F-Troop" which was an military fort on the western frontier populated with misfits, clowns, and sort of a McHales Navy... oops... you probably won't remember that either....
just think seriously weird and sort of semi organized... at best.
P-Troop is the 'poop patrol' of my dog's dog run.
Hut two three four, about face, forward march (carefully!)
I have a dog. Not a "yap-yap" but a real dog. This may sound immaterial to you but as the sole member of P-Troop I assure you that there is a difference.
Pet stores have all sort of cute devices they will sell you for executing this necessary duty and they have nice names and are very often made of pretty color plastic.
Let me assure you that if you have an actual DOG, these are not for you. Not even close!
You really should have realized this might be an issue when you saw the size of the bags of dog food for dogs like the one you own.
I must admit that I was one of those optimistic fools and bought a "Doggy Dooly" in green and a neat "Poopy Scoopy" that was sort of like a double articulated scissor like thing (made of plastic) which was totally useless other than as a chew toy for Danny. The Doggy Dooly was supposed to be a sort of (relatively) small septic system for the "patrol product". Yeah.... like that was going to work. For a yap yap maybe.
I have a DOG.
If you have a DOG you go into the hardware section and get a shovel. Not a "garden spade", but a REAL shovel. As tall as you are! Then buy a garden hoe, again, full size. I recommend the flat blade over the bent style but.... that a style issue.
You then march (carefully!) around the yard and examine the ground for "items". Place the shovel on the ground with the tip next to the material and the other end held under your arm. With the other arm, manipulate the hoe such that the "items" are moved onto the shovel.
When the shovel gets heavy (no, you are not done! the 'patrol' is perpetual!) comes the fun part... If you were wise enough to buy a house out in the forest and looking over a steep hill like mine, you take the shovel with one hand on the very end and one about mid way on the handle. You then make like a catapult and fling that load way down the hill. Nature and rain will take care of the problem.
If you live in the "burbs" with houses on each side... hate to tell you but.... you are screwed.
Remember the size of that bag of dog food? Think about it!
I personally guarantee you that just when you think your tour of duty is over for the day, your dog will grin at you and squat. I have a dog. I know. If you ever doubt your dog has a sense of humor, doubt no longer. Dogs have a particularly nasty sense of humor.
Dogs love unconditionally, but.... they have a really nasty sense of humor. Believe me on this and learn to live with it. The love outweighs the dark side.
Oh yeah, and don't waste money on cutsey devices to make this particular job easier and neater. It isn't and won't be. Get over it!
Hut, two, three, four
Let the dog out the door
Four, three, two, one
He'll come back when he is done
P-Troop is my Duty Call
Rain or shine I give my all
My big dog is my friend for sure
I'm just not happy with all the manure.
Hut, two, three, four.
Let the dog back in the door.
P-Troop stand straight and tall.
You're not done, no not at all!
I have a dog. A BIG DOG.
Regards,
WebMouse
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