Lap Dog

It's all in the definition. Well... and who is defining it!

I have a dog.

My version is that if he doesn't fit on my lap, he is not a lap dog. My lap is not small. (no snickers please!)

His (Danny) version seems to be "any part of me on any part of you makes me a lap dog".

It's the "any part" that we disagree on. I can sort of see his argument when he sits next to me and lays his head on my lap and looks at me with those big soulful brown eyes. I give!

If I put up the leg support on my Lazyboy (AKA Dog Chair) he figures that means I have expanded my "lap" and it's fair game. I admit (grudgingly) to liking him on my lap. He is a beautiful dog and there is just something about a dog in your lap that makes the world a little nicer place.

We have a swing set outside (couch on A frame essentially) and he has different rules there. That is pretty much an "anything I can get away with" location. It starts when he jumps up on the swing/glider and sits next to me. Then he gets all "chummy" and starts moving into my territory. Next thing I know, he has defined "lap" as any part or parts of my body that he can get himself on. Chest, shoulders, head, back.....

In case you ever consider it, do NOT try to lay down in one of those swings and take a nap. Your whole body then becomes a lap and he "jumps for it"... literally. Surprise! is an understatement. Warm sun, eyes closed, relaxed, gentle swinging motion... 50 lbs of dog lands... ah.... on you. Lands... not steps gently onto you, LANDS on you from a jump from who knows how far away. It felt like he started his run from the other end of the yard and went for an Olympic gold medal, in the running broad jump.

I have a dog.

We play 'fetch' also. There too he has his own rules. These rules allow throwing a 'body block' on the 'thrower' by the 'throwee' on the return of the 'thrown'.
Right now at 50 lbs or so, that is one thing. When he gets full grown, that will be something else entirely. We're talking X-Sport level action. I may have to wear protective gear.

He may figure he gets points for "taking out" the 'thrower'.
Personally, I penalize him points every time he drops the 'thrown' on the way back to the 'thrower'. A three point penalty on the return journey is not uncommon. It's the excitement. He also loses a point for overshooting the target object. I'm not sure dog's can count so this may be a futile exercise. The Canine numbering system seems to consist of "one" and "another". Actually, for his purpose, that probably works pretty well. It sure eliminates all that nasty math stuff!

I have a dog.

It's not just a job, it's an adventure! (or was that a Navy ad?)

Regards,
WebMouse